wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Will exercising make me less horny?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
