Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
