Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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