Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
