i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
