My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
