What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
