By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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