Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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