I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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