Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
