Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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