I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize
