Fine. I'll sleep in my office
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
