You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
