He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
