What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
