she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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