Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
