only you would photoshop your dick
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
