I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
