Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
