to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
