I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
