i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
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