Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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