Are we in a gay sports bar?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
