I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
