Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
