you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
