He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
