Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
