Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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