did you get engaged???
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
