Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
