I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
