she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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