Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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