the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
