a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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