I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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