Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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