So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
