I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
