on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
