What did we do last night that was yellow?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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