So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
