Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he laminated a picture of his dick.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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