So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
3 2 1 whiskey
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
