I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize