can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
