Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
