idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
