I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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