I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
