Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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