shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
