I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
