Pants 0. Shit 1.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
