At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize